The Survival Debate

By the time you'd finished reading this, you should be more grateful to you your mum (and dad).

When a lady stutters for words to describe her complaints, you know as a doc that she's probably got one of those "private" issues...itching, discharge etc. or a sexual intimacy related matter. They're all 'issues'... (Serious issues).

Another scenario that would make a lady stutter, especially a young, school-age lady is a pregnancy, ‘an UNplanned pregnancy’. This was the case of my 20 year old patient.

So, when she couldn't find the words, I helped her. 'Are you pregnant?' I asked. And there was a very slow nod and a face that seemed to say it was a mistake.

Then she quickly adds...but I want it removed. The word 'abort' is generally not used, it makes it sound 'wrong', and 'sinful'.

I tried to convince her otherwise and my findings revealed that she doesn't really wish to have it removed. However there were two (or three) problems.

First, her parents are furious (who wouldn't be?), and are threatening to throw her out of the house (like that would solve anything). This is worsened by her mum's status as a Pastor (it smears her personality in a 'muddy' gutter).

Secondly, her boyfriend, the 'hero' or 'culprit' (I call him a Hero) was sitting right outside, and is also urging her to terminate. And lastly, she worried about the continuation of her education (and future).

I called in 'the hero' and had a lengthy sweet-mouthed, and very convincing talk with him. He listened in a sober mood and I was happy I'm making good progress and when I had got tired of talking, he responded with just seven words...'doc pls help me, just do it'.

He is 22, schooling and working, first of four children, both parents late.

I threw in my last straw, I offered to make her antenatal care including drugs FOC (free of charge). They both spoke and left.

She came for her antenatal clinic once, twice. On seeing her on the third visit, I was happy that maybe I had saved a life (one that would probably never get to know me). Then she asked to see me. She couldn't cope anymore. Her home is too hot and 'Mr Hero' has withdrawn his support calling again for the termination. The pregnancy (the baby) is now about 8 weeks.

I wished he (Mr Hero) was the one that would undergo the evacuation procedure, all the poking and "chooking", the pains and the potential risk of damage to the reproductive organs.

So I wondered. That 'something' (or 'somebody') in her womb, existing and totally unaware of the debate to determine his/her right to survive, who is he/she? Who fights for him/her?

It is indeed amazing to see people struggle to get rid of a thing some other people have spent a lifetime searching for.

Thank you Mum and Dad for not debating my survival and in case you did have that debate, coz I wasn't there anyway, thanks all the same for debating in my favour.

Because today, I am who I am.

*A week later, I learnt from a reliable source that she had done it, she kept bleeding and had to redo it two more times. The pregnancy wasn’t 8 weeks, it was 11*